1/30/20 The Ugly Side of Security

When I talk to people who feel burned out and dissatisfied with their work, often times this comes up: I want the change (in fact I know I need it or I am toast), but I am afraid to.

I am scared to express my frustrations at work fully at the fear of losing my income and stability. I don’t want to start at the bottom. Afraid to rock the boat.

Believe me, I get it. You have responsibilities, including financial. You’ve worked so hard to get where you are. There have been a lot of sacrifices along the way. 

You are afraid that making changes will force you to get out of the comfort zone and it is not a proposition that people take on lightly.

But let’s examine your comfort zone a bit closely.

When I was going through my transformation and making a decision about what I want to do in my life, I had a dream, one of those vivid dreams that you know warrant your attention.

In my dream I was on a plank that was high up under a tall ceiling in a room. I was half-laying down in an awkward position struggling to hold onto the strings that were pulling me into different directions. It took incessant effort from me to keep holding on and avoid falling down. I am guessing this was the manifestation of my “comfort zone” at the time.

What does holding on to your security cost you now?

How comfortable your comfort zone really is?

Often times what we think is comfortable really is familiar. Remember the Stockholm syndrome? Human psyche can make you site even with such evil as your kidnappers, what to say about the job that helps you pay the bills and take a vacation once a year.

But what do you really want? Do you want to hold on to the strings (until there is some force left in your hands) and settle for what seems secure? Or do you want to create the experience and life that you truly want, that you feel proud about? That feeds your soul...

Do you want to survive or live and thrive?

And the best thing is that often times you do not need to fall off the plank to get off of it. A large part of the sacrifices associated with a change is in our head, and will never manifest in real life.

In my dream, I finally got too tired of holding on to stay put and let go. Holding on to the string like a trapeze flyer, I glided over to a large stable “shelf” not far from my plank. Doing that was scary and exciting, but overall a very pleasant feeling. I knew I had to act quickly and trust the process, there was no time to “think about it”.

I did not fall and got to a place that was an improvement compared to the rickety plank in the middle of the room. And after I did it, I felt relieved and more in control. There was still a lot to do, but I made the first step.

Are you ready to start moving towards sustainable career and feeling more like yourself?

I know that it is possible, if you want to.

In February I am starting a group program for people who are ready to improve their experience at work and life, reconnect with what is important to them, and start creating their reality to honor this. It is for all the people who are brimming with talent and had enough of living their life by someone else’s plan, according to someone else’s idea of success. The Fire Starter Sessions. Respond “FSS” by email, if you want to know more.



Sveta Parilova is a career and leadership coach who partners up with mid-career professionals to help them get rekindled and renewed about their work/career, so that they feel less stressed and more joyful at work and at home. She is passionate about supporting people in their search for purpose and meaning in their work and life, and is humbled and honored to be part of their journey to a more joyful self. Click here to schedule a Complimentary Discovery Session and learn more!


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Svetlana Parilova
Thrive Network International, LLC