On swarming bees, black holes, and Nike

I was talking to a friend who is in a difficult spot in life right now. Her issues are in the personal life area, related to being a “sandwich” generation with still young kids and already aging parents. Add a (likely related) deterioration of the relationship with her partner and you get a perfect storm. 

And while it is stressful to deal with tense situations with the parents, the kids and the partner, by far the hardest is lingering in a state of ambivalence, unable to initiate change. When she starts contemplating action in one area, the concerns and considerations from all the others start swarming in her head like bees, clouding her vision and making it impossible to make a decision. 

Can you relate? What have you been tolerating at work or in life for some time? What do you need to neutralize and deal with day after day?

Being in a state of ambivalence takes up a huge amount of energy. Imagine that you have a massive energetic black hole. It is tough!

When I was getting burned out at work, I could not decide whether I should deal with my career or my relationship first, and did neither. I remained in a state of progressing dissatisfaction for years, which affected my health, relationship, and personal life. Until it got painful enough to get up my courage and take steps to change it, however small and imperfect. Then things started to move (in both areas actually). 

If you can learn from my mistakes, don’t wait until it gets too painful and life starts throwing additional curve balls at you to make you move. Deal with it now.

What will move the needle? Taking action, any action really. Nike got it right. Just doing it will change your energy and get you moving out of the land of toleration. When you take action, you are no longer “trapped” but become a person who takes control of her/his life. You send a message to your brain that you can take action and start creating neural passages that will eventually get you to a resolution.

One action that you can take right now is to download a Burnout Barometer and look your work situation straight in the eye. An even bolder move, demonstrating even more intention, would be to schedule a call with me to talk about where you are now and where do you want to get. Here is a link for you, clicking it and putting time on your calendar qualifies as taking an action.

What you have been tolerating is not going away on its own. You will have to deal with it. Either now or later.

If you are ready, take action.

Just do it!




Sveta Parilova is a career and leadership coach who partners up with mid-career professionals to help them get rekindled and renewed about their work and life so that they feel less stressed and more joyful at work and at home. She is passionate about supporting people in their search for purpose and meaning in their work and life and is humbled and honored to be part of their journey to a more joyful self. Click here to schedule a Complimentary Discovery Session and learn more!


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Svetlana Parilova
Thrive Network International, LLC