How good are you at receiving?
My daughter was sick on the last day of school before the school break. Nothing too bad, but still not fun. Apparently, there is a lot of exciting stuff happening at school before the holidays (right when all the parents are frantically running around trying to get all the presents and finish the work before the year-end; remember when holidays were fun, eh?) So I promised her to pop by at school and pick up some super important crafts that she made for the holidays.
At the school, I was surprised when the teachers gave me a giftfor volunteering as a class co-parent.
Honestly, I did not deserve it. There were not that much to do and the other Mom handled it all. It was nothing exuberant, a block of nicely wrapped bath soap, but still I felt embarrassed.
I already opened my mouth to communicate my feelings to the teacher, when I stopped myself. This a new thing I practice now. Receiving.
We are so used to “giving” - 150% to work, family, and kids (each, so you really go at 450% of your capacity, if we do the math). We are so used to be critical to ourselves (because this helps us improve of course). And we totally forget how to receive.
Not to disregard men, but women are especially culpable and susceptible to this. Even in the day and age of diversity and inclusion, we still have to keep proving ourselves at work. And noone abolished the mother’s guilt.
As a result, often times we don’t allow ourselves to really accept the compliment or a well-deserved praise of our work, even when someone actually cares to give us one. Our receiving, self-accepting, self-love muscles are dangerously out of shape.
So today I offer you to pay attention when someone is giving you something: a compliment, an appreciation, or when you yourself realize that you did something good, and really receive it.
What would help you to receive?
First thing that comes to mind is simply pausing for a moment, avoiding the habit of rushing to the next thing on your list, or saying the famous “yeah but” like I was about to do with my daughter’s teachers.
Give whatever is coming your way the love and attention it deserves. This helps you claim the space that you are now and ask for more of this to come.
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Sveta Parilova is a career and life coach who partners up with mid-career professionals to help them get rekindled and renewed about their work/career, so that they feel less stressed and more joyful at work and at home. She is passionate about supporting people in their search for purpose and meaning in their work and life, and is humbled and honored to be part of their journey to a more joyful self. Click here to schedule a Complimentary Discovery Session and learn more!